Wednesday
Hi to all,
Had a blog in MSN but I kind of liked it here better. The only thing is that you can't post many photos online. Blar! Oh wells. In life, there is always a trade off.
The haze has gone. Really happy to have fresh air. It really feels like winter and smeels like christmas. The air filled with cold yet humid. I took a walk int he nicely decorated park near my house. Feels so much like christmas, however, it's prolly 2 months to go.
THENI was refecting on how life is like the past year. I'm quite amazed at how life has been. The year started off with the BIG quarral with joyce. I was very upset. Frankly, I don't know why she was so upset with me. Syl thinks that I was jealous of Bianca since they are quite close to each other. Well, Madeleine policy =>
I don't have to be your BEST friend
- as long as you do remmeber me as a friend.
I am quite happy.
I think Sandra and Carmen knows quite well. =)
After the long wait, I finally got a job at morgan stanley. int he short 5 months working there. The greatest joy is PAY DAY and going out for lunch with my friends. The rest is just sucky. The job came to a point that I was helping clients to invest when I am not license to. *Yeah breaking the law*. The management didn't want to give me the license cuz
It's very hard to give someone the license.
You might not be staying long in the company.
What the hell.
Not to mention that I have hell from my banker. He is a real Jerk!
Finally decided to quit. On the day of my registation *Rejoice* and julian came up to me and brokeup with me. Yeah! what the hell happen? I have no idea until today I guess. I never cried so much for the past 3 days just before I left for states. No rythmn or reason. I was more shocked than anything. It was quite unexpected.
Leaving to a country so far from home. To my aunty's house - not all that close to her. A lot of fustration. I don't want to start crying in my room and the whole house would be wondering what the hell happened to me. Think about it - if I didn't leave for states, I would have felt worst *losing my job and boyfriend*.
States was great. I had lots of fun. visited lots of places like Washington and north carolina. The best is my trip to NY. I went around the place based on the travel book that Jayawi bot me. I went to Central park <- it's beautiful, Chinatown, WTC, lady in green, etc. Of course I watched a broadway show.
Back from states was the hardest part of life. All the weight that I put on in 2 months in states, was lost in 1 month in singapore. That was how bad life was. One day, julian still likes me. one week later, he don't. He had the cheek to tell me to update myself. With enouff insults from him and endlesss questions from choir, it was bad.
Imagine having aunties asking me
why I broke up with Julian
- Ju loves you a lot,
I can tell that he still cares.
Well, i don't know if he cares. i don't think so!! I don't know where everyone get that idea from. Of-course no one likes to ask me what I would like to do with the song that ju and i wrote. I never felt more invisible in my life. Stress to the max. The end of the retreat, Jenny came up to me and told me that she got feedback from ppl that
I DON:T TAKE COMMENDS ABT MY PLAYING WELL.
Well, if anyone cared to understand how miseriable my life was coming to choir after work (which I never get home before 11 pm every nite)- being totally put down my gavin about my trumpet playing. "The whole praise and worship was okie other than one part which is the brass". When Val was teaching me, my eyes were just filled with tears. OUCH!!!! Thanks i totally needed that.
The frustrations in life is that I can't b angry with gaving cuz he did it with good intention. (Thot it could have been better, if said nicer. LIFE!).
Shocking thing about life - my family friend passed away. He is always there in SFX helping with counselling and how he is gone.
NOWI'm taking a brake from choir. Life is better. Joyce and I are talking to each other. i found KUMAs!!! Long lost friend. That's the highlight of the year prolly. I'm taking boxer-cise class (i'm trying to keep with my resolution). Teaching tuition as for now. Watching Korean Show. Wrote a Phua Choo Kang Script and stuff. Joined the Ferror Roach contest and won a necklace. . Lots of things I would not have done. Everything is good - other than my bleeding gums.
A moment of silence for the death of my laptop. My dearest laptop has spent 5 years with me. Thru milo and virus and all everything. may it rest in peace amen.
=)
Well, All my life I have prayed for 1. peace in the world 2. to have a peacful life. Strangely, it was never like that. There are only 2 possibilities.
1. God forgot to answer my prayers
2. My life would have been worst if I had never prayed for it.
It any case, I can only pray for a peaceful next year. i know that in the future my life will be peaceful, cuz all the experiences that I had. Nothing can amaze me. Unless, god can come up with another Winter SONATA script to play a part in.
Peace be with you.
=) It's christmas
princess maddie.
